Tips on dating a single dad Julia fuck 12 02 2014
Boy, was I wrong, and what a smack into reality I received!
Here’s the deal, when you are a single woman in her mid-30s, with no children, pretty much every man you are going to meet, that is your age, and you want to date is going to have children.
As a single dad wading back into the dating pool, Daniel Ruyter was surprised how many women lost interest when he revealed, always in the first conversation, that he had a son."At first I took it personally," said the Orlando, Fla., information technology analyst, who was 32 when he divorced and got joint custody of his then 5-year-old son.
"I found it very arbitrary that before they got to know me, they had decided against me."But as Ruyter cycled through "close to 100" first dates and a few long-term girlfriends (a scheduling feat, considering half his week was devoted to his son), his romantic standards heightened in ways they may not have pre-fatherhood.
Not to mention, you are both employed in some way or another and have a multitude of life, family and work commitments to work around. As your relationship grows you will become a priority, but when it’s new, you will be second fiddle to his kids.
It’s hard enough to date as an “adult”, but throw in someone else’s child or children and, whoa! While dating, I met and spent time with a few single dads and some single guys with no children. And, if you are OK with that, and understand his commitment, he will respect you and be willing to give more of his time to you.
As a single parent, you need to be honest about your situation.
When I finally decided that I was ready to date again, I had this expectation that dating in your 30s was going to be just like dating in your 20s.
We all cycle through roles, first as sons, then students, then employees, husbands, and fathers. Doesn’t matter, your kids should know nothing about it. Get a “rat pack” of guy friends and share with them.
Many of these overlap, but only one can be the main focus at any point. Don’t date mothers of your kids’ friends, teachers at their school, neighbors, etc.
Before I start on the lessons I learned about dating a single dad, let me give you a bit of history about me.
In early 2011, after almost 10 years of marriage, I found myself divorced, single, in my mid-30s and (gasp!! For the first year and a half of my new “singleness” I shunned the thought of dating.
He broke off one relationship because her dream of a downtown condo didn't fit with his need for a yard and swing set.